Short VDay Solution

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Two things that are not synonymous: losing your puppy and being single on Valentine’s Day. Yet all of my coworkers tip-toed around me yesterday like I had just received the worst kind of news from the doctor.

“Hey sweetie, got you some chocolate to enjoy tonight.” Oh, you think 3500 cals worth of sugar is going to fix my so-called problem? I mean, I’d rather have liposuction….or a man who thinks squishy thighs are the cutest thing since the little Asian and his bulldog blew up Tumblr, but no biggie, feel free to put your sympathy treats next to the expense report. I don’t alienate any chocolate, or really anything edible and free. Standards are so passé.

I don’t have the plague, please don’t treat me like I’m one razor blade away from slicing myself just because it’s Valentine’s Day.

This morning when trying to force myself to get out of my bed bright and early (okay, like 8am….it’s Friday aka Stroll Into Work Late Day), I perused my Facebook feed only to be bombarded with angsty lyrics, Woe is Me statuses and a slough of pictures documenting everyone’s loneliness from yesterday.

Hey, Singles, you know what would be way more awesome than sitting at home wallowing in your sorrow and expecting me to care? Doing something fun. Or heck, even taking a shower and pretending like you have a life is a solid choice. Got a kitchen? Cook some dinner. Got a street? Get off your couch and go for a walk.

I’m pretty sure the sunshine and a decent meal with some vitamins and a little iron could do wonders for the pasty complexion brought on by hours of stalking your exes. The exercise certainly never hurt anyone. And—wait for it—you could actually meet someone if you went out in public once a month. Mind boggling, right? That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

After two single girl Valentine’s days, I think I have finally found the perfect equation for a perfect night.

Step 1: Decide what you want to do to celebrate your life.

Step 2: Do it.

Step 3: Invite everyone who could add to the merriment.

Step 4: Sing some Disney karaoke (Come on. Who doesn’t like belting out a duet to A Whole New World?)

Novel concept, this whole making your own happiness happen sort of ish. Here’s the deal: if your happiness is tangled somewhere in the mess of someone else’s actions, your night probably didn’t go as well.

So, fix it.